


Goodness Gracious

by MsScratch1313



Category: WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Gen, Humor, Kayfabe ambiguity, Post-GBOF, the shield - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 03:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11477949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsScratch1313/pseuds/MsScratch1313
Summary: A one-shot about the Shield boys post-Great Balls of Fire. Seth's rocking an eyepatch, Roman's a wanted man, and Dean is, well, Dean.





	Goodness Gracious

**Author's Note:**

> Whooooo boy, first time using this fancy-shmancy Ao3 site to post, and for my first ever rasslin' fic as well. I'd say go easy on me, but I'm pretty sure writing Shield fic in the dead of night gives me the Trashlord title anyway.
> 
> Set post-Great Balls of Fire (Jesus I can't believe I just typed that) in some borderline AU where the Shield boys hang out together off camera 
> 
> Written for my dudes Dev and Kyle, who wanted Seth with an eyepatch and Roman to say "I just killed a man"

Seth grimaced, touching the bandages plastered over his face yet again. They were starting to get itchy, and although he usually followed the trainers’ advice, he wasn't expecting to acquire a fucking _eyepatch_ after tonight's match.

_“Well, gotta say, Bray’s got impeccable aim,” the medic laughed, flashing the penlight into Seth’s face. He squinted on instinct and hissed at the sting he felt._

_“Yeah, the son of a bitch,” Seth bit, raising up a hand to cover his eye._

So now here he was, sprawled out in an empty locker room, trying to scratch at his eyebrow without shifting the gauze and tape directly below it.

He debated trying to get in a quick nap before the end of the show, seeing as he didn't want to face the rest of the roster while wearing the stupid thing. He ended up playing with his phone and relaxing, enjoying the rare peace and quiet, before it was shattered by the sudden slamming open of the door.

Seth watched as Dean scrambled through the doorway, before leaning back to rest on the shut door, taking a deep breath. He looked even more disheveled than usual, with his hair in a post match mess.

“Hi Sethie,” he grinned, with red-stained teeth.

“Running from the trainers again?” Seth drawled sarcastically.

“Yeah the usual,” Dean rambled, stumbling over to the hand sink to spit in it. “It’s like they think I've never bitten my tongue before.” He spat again, then rinsed his mouth out.

“And what’s going on with you, Captain Freakin’ Rollins?” Dean asked, turning to face him and tapping next to his own eye. “Loving the pirate look. I take it Captain Wyatt made you walk the plank?”

“Shut up,” Seth growled, which made Dean laugh and take a seat next to him. “I don't see you carrying the IC belt, so I bet you lost too.”

“Yeah, I lost,” Dean countered, “but I fought like 3 guys at once and it was awesome.” He starting pulling off his hand wraps and animatedly recounting the match to Seth, who sat and listened for lack of anything else to do. Dean didn't seem to mind that he only halfway listened to him rant.

“So then, his squad of goons, Curtis Axel and Johnny Depp lookin’ Bo Dallas—” Seth would have raised an eyebrow if it wasn't taped down, “Come flying up to the ring again so I introduced them to my knuckles and—” Dean’s storytelling was interrupted by a half dead Roman Reigns nearly tasting concrete on his way in.

“Jesus Christ Ro,” Dean muttered, hurrying over to help up the Big Dog and get him over to the bench. Seth started looking him over with his good eye, not liking what he saw.

“Just what the hell did you do?” Seth demanded. If Roman was here, that meant Braun was defeated, right?

Roman slowly lifted his head from where it rested on his hands. The dazed look he had worn since appearing seemed to clear a bit while he stared at Seth, but was replaced with a look of fear and hesitation.

“I uh—” Roman began, clearing his throat, “I think I just killed a man.”

There was a tense moment of silence where Seth just stared, mouth open, unsure of how to follow.

“Well alright buddy!” Dean shouted, clapping Roman’s shoulder happily. “Listen, we’ve all got a breaking point, ok? Happens to all of us, nothing to be ashamed of.” Dean tittered excitedly, while Seth still reeled from the shock of it all. “Granted, I hit mine every morning when I wake up, but that’s a different story.” Dean got up and started pacing in his excitement.

“Alright, we’re gonna need a whole lotta acid and like, 5 or 6 of those big orange buckets hardware places have. Braun’s a big dude. A vat would be preferable, but it's more conspicuous,” Dean listed. “We’ll need some big ass tarps or plastic to cover the floor and I’ll need a chainsaw.” Dean paused for a moment, looking up at the ceiling as if in deep thought. “Well I guess a hacksaw would work too but a chainsaw would get the body disassembled much faster—”

“ _Dean_ ,” Seth sputtered.

“What?” He replied. Dean looked over at Roman, who looked more shaken than anything. “Our brother’s got a wife and kids, and you’re just gonna let him do jail time?”

_“We’re not hiding a body!”_ Seth hissed, pulling at his own hair. He grabbed Roman’s shoulders and shook him, snapping him out of his haze for a moment. “Tell me you didn't kill anyone, Ro, _please_.”

“I crashed the ambulance with him in it, Seth,” Roman admitted, staring at Seth wide-eyed. Dean began laughing hysterically, as if he’d told the funniest joke in the world, while Seth looked about ready to have a panic attack.

“God, _god_ ,” Seth moaned, grabbing at his hair, “I always thought it was gonna be Dean! If anyone was going to commit murder, it was going to be him!”

“There’s still time left tonight, y’know,” Dean reminded, wiping away tears.

_“That wasn't a suggestion!”_ Seth shouted _._

Their bickering got Roman to crack a smile, but it seemed more instinctive than anything.

The banter was cut short by the loud echo of sirens blaring from across the arena. Seth now looked at Roman with a face of absolute horror, while Dean just shook his head.

“Oooooh,” Dean said, sadly. “Might be too late to hide the body then.” He looked over at Roman with a shrug and a grin. “You wanna make a run for the border, or get a defense attorney?”

Roman looked between the two, shaking his head to try to get it together. He was exhausted in every sense of the word.

“I just want to leave, uce.”

“No,” Seth interrupted, “You need to get checked out—”

“Alright, border run it is. Always wanted to vacation in Mexico. Thank god we’re already in Texas, this’ll be cake.” Dean ran over and started grabbing their bags, throwing one over his shoulder and shoving another at Seth.

“C’mon Seth, we gotta fly. And maybe change our names. I think you should be ‘Alejandro’. You could totally be an Alejandro,” Dean babbled.

“No,” Seth said, more firmly, starting to panic a bit less than before. “Roman’s hurt, he needs to get checked out.”

“We couldn't get him to a hospital if we tried, Seth. He just _crashed_ _the_ _goddamn_ _ambulance!_ ” Dean reminded, howling with laughter. Roman, suddenly realizing the irony, starting huffing out a laugh as well while clutching at his ribs.

“It's not—it’s not that funny guys, dammit,” Seth said, breaking into a smile. “OK, it's a little funny. I guess we’re taking the rental no matter what, huh?”

“Believe that,” Roman deadpanned, earning a groan from Seth and another laugh from Dean.

“Well, whether we book it to Guadalajara or to our hotel, looks like super secret Shield stealth ops is a go. Objective: the rental car,” Dean directed, jokingly. “Up and at ‘em, big guy. We gotta make our great escape,” he murmured, throwing an arm around Roman and hauling him up. “Seth, take point. First sign of Braun, you give a shout. Make sure the hallways are clear.”

“Roger,” Seth affirmed, doing a lazy salute to the two of them, and shifting the bags on his shoulders. “My eyesight isn't the greatest at the moment, but Braun Stroman is kind of hard to miss,” he joked. He held the door open while they shuffled through, and hit the lights as the left. “Who’s gonna be driving though?”

Dean nearly choked trying to contain his laughter in the now echo-y hallways they had begun sneaking through.

_“Not fucking Roman, that’s for sure!”_

 

 


End file.
